Today I was totally.....

(Best image I could find on short notice, I was hoping for one of the animated ones)

So the plan today was to go into the Hildesheim Zentrum, watch a movie (The Da Vinci Code, or Sacriledge, as they're styling it here), and then go back. Alone, in my Polo, which is a 4-speed manual that I can kiiiinda drive.

Angela showed me the way earlier that day, and I felt reasonably confident about going it alone; at least, as confident as can be expected of a guy who's driving alone in a foreign country in a car that is as difficult to control as it is unsafe in a crash.

Well, not even I was able to come up with the worst-case scenario that ultimately came of this sojourn. (And I'm amazing at coming up with worst-case scenarios that you'll lose sleep over) My first wrong turn, I ended up at the place where I work. Okay, I guess it was the next light. I turn around, make the correct left. Found the right exit. Go straight, take the right at the light. This is where it starts getting bad. I enter the initial Zentrum, and realize I have no idea where to make the left turn to the movie theater. Boy, was that fun. Did you know that "Einbahnstraße" means "one-way street?" Because no one told me!!

After breaking enough traffic laws to justify a summary execution, I find a parking lot near some bank, off the road that I started on in the Zentrum. It's a large gravel parking lot, several acres. After making sure I could park (sorry, Germany - I'm not falling for THAT one) I called Angela. She says oh yeah, that parking lot is where you want to be, now just go in the direction of the bank, make a left past the insurance company and you'll see the theater.

Now, here's where one of the problem-components occured. One of those things which, alone, would not have been a big deal, but when combined with the other problem-components, turns into a complete Pandora's Box.

Component 1: My car won't start

Now, I was just idly trying to start it for some reason that made sense of the time (I was actually going to walk to the movie theater), but I couldn't turn the key. I called Angela back.

Component 2: The last phone call

I say the last phone call, because that was indeed the last phone call I ever made for some time with that phone. After that call, I had a balance of $0.00 on my GSM card, and could only receive calls.

So, I went to see the movie. No trouble there. I actually arrived 15 or 20 minutes after the listed start time and still saw two or three trailors. This is the German way. Ultimately, the movie wasn't worth it for the trouble I went through to see it; I would comment further, but I never got the chance to reflect on the movie after seeing it, as I'll explain.

Anyway, I had to drive back, and the tricky part ended up being getting on the highway in the right direction. I have neither the desire nor the time to describe ALL the mistakes I made, so I'll condense the important stuff into a terse executive summary.

The biggest mistake was a left turn where I should have gone straight, and back onto the highway. The idea is, you go onto the highway, drive a ways, and then get to one of these roundabout things like they have in England, where you make a U-turn and go back home. (Imagine, a U-Turn on the highway - that's infrastructure!) I didn't realize this concept immediately, as it was counterintuitive to my American mind. So, when I got on the highway, I panicked and got off at some random intersection. I made similar mistakes like this (wrong turns), and one of them caused me to go back into some weird, Ghetto section of Hildesheim and spend about an hour and a half completely lost. Eventually I parked at some weird school parking lot, and wandered out of my car.

Component 3: Intractibly lost

Now, under normal circumstances, I would have called Angela and taken her up on her offer to pick me up and take me home. But as mentioned, I had to make that last phone call, and now I had no money on my card and couldn't call her. I waited a little bit for her to call me, asking where I was (it was more like total indecision and stupefaction on my part), but it was futile.

I walked around for a while; I had ended up near some library. This is pretty bad, I realized. Tomorrow's a Monday; I could sleep in my car and get help tomorrow. The school will be filling up, I'm probably parked in some reserved space.... I wonder what would happen if they didn't realize someone was in the car? What if I get towed away in my sleep and wake up in some godforsaken lot miles away from civilization and human contact?

There was a directory/confusing German map of the city of Hildesheim. After analyzing it for about half an hour, I got a sense of where I was, and where I had to go. (I also figured out the highway thing.) I drove around hither and yon, eventually finding and following signs back to the Zentrum. By sheer luck, I made it home from there with only one additional mistake (got off prematurely on the roundabout, promptly turned back). I got home and Angela, seeing her cue, fed me as much as she could.

I'm feeling somewhat gunshy as it were about driving, now; I had enough anxiety about controlling the car. I'll drive to work and back, that's not a problem, but anything more adventurous than that might be a ways off.